So. A question:
Jan. 9th, 2003 08:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zotzWhich five lies would you find it most amusing to tell somebody who didn't know me? They don't have to be mere lies - they can be slanders or libels if you prefer. And you don't have to stop at five, either, if you don't want to.
NB: Do tell me if you actually use these. I wouldn't want to accidentally deny them to someone you'd fooled. I shall forever regret correcting someone who'd come to the conclusion that my friend Tom and I were brothers.
NB: Do tell me if you actually use these. I wouldn't want to accidentally deny them to someone you'd fooled. I shall forever regret correcting someone who'd come to the conclusion that my friend Tom and I were brothers.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 09:11 am (UTC)2. You only put on a Scottish accent; you actually grew up in Southend.
3. You aren't really a geneticist, but semi-unemployed and living off the dole and DJing for beer money.
4. You are naturally blond; your hair is dyed dark grey.
5. You love Cambridge and want to live there for the rest of your life.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 09:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 09:18 am (UTC)(Which I think are all lies :)
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 09:21 am (UTC)Ah.
Date: 2003-01-09 09:23 am (UTC)I distinctly remember you refusing pork scratchings when I offered you them, but then a lot of people do that on grounds of taste alone :) (as a side issue: do you also refuse pickled eggs?)
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 09:39 am (UTC)1. Graham's politics are to the right of Tony Blair
2. Graham was a great fan of Margaret Thatcher
3. Graham's favourite band is Boyzone
4. Graham is teetotal
5. Graham is an avid Daily Mail reader.
The idea *was* to make them as ridiculous as possible wasn't it?
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 10:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 10:10 am (UTC)Ah, the Daily Mail. A fine and august journal. Fred Basset is particularly satirical in its treatment of contemporary mores.
Re: Ah.
Date: 2003-01-09 10:23 am (UTC)Re: Ah.
Date: 2003-01-09 10:31 am (UTC)I can't believe a gentleman of your calibre and antecedents isn't familiar with this delicacy.
I like 'em. They sell 'em in pubs. In the Elsinore, even.
(I was requested to stop encouraging people to eat them after
Re: Ah.
Date: 2003-01-09 10:39 am (UTC)True lies....
Date: 2003-01-09 10:55 am (UTC)2) When Graham was a student he used to wear tank tops and iron his underpants.
3) Graham was born again in 1990.
4) Actually, Graham prefers pink. Black is just more practical.
5) Graham was traumatised after being bitten by a pet rabbit as a child. Don't mention rabbits when he's around, whatever you do. Even hares can be dodgy if he's feeling fragile....
Now guess which one is nearly true?
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 10:57 am (UTC)Your name isn't really Graeme or even Graham.
You and Glen had a messy break-up. (actually, to be fair that wasn't my idea - Glen, while drunk, once managed to give someone the impression that he and
Re: True lies....
Date: 2003-01-09 10:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 11:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 11:10 am (UTC)Sadly the person who heard it was sufficiently vanilla to be deeply disturbed by the idea that
Poll
Date: 2003-01-09 11:17 am (UTC)As you can tell we were talking about what lies we'd tell before we posted.
I'm curious what people would say about me. The truth seems to wierd enough people out, without anyone lying.
Re: True lies....
Date: 2003-01-09 11:35 am (UTC)2 or 5 :)
no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 11:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-09 12:55 pm (UTC)2. It is a wig, borrowed from Graham's granny. Underneath he has a shaved head with the word "OI!" tattooed badly on it, so it resembles the word "OIL."
3. Although he is often seen out clubbing in jeans-&-T-shirt-goth mode, Graham only does this out of practicality -- when he goes to work he only ever wears Transmuters and fluorescent blue Dane garments.
4. Drinks only gin & tonic, and then for purely medicinal purposes.
5. Has been known to rant on and on about the need to bring back the birch, offer to personally beat rapscallions' behinds with it, and become rather flustered when speaking about such matters.
Graham's Wig
Date: 2003-01-09 03:03 pm (UTC)Re: Graham's Wig
Date: 2003-01-09 03:44 pm (UTC)Is this worth five?
Date: 2003-01-10 12:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 01:18 am (UTC)If someone is basically a decent person but is just easily shocked because they had a sheltered upbringing then that's different from if they're a deliberate bigot.
Re: Poll
Date: 2003-01-10 01:33 am (UTC)Sadly, I can't remember the name of that late 80s Goth singer who used to wear a hat like yours (along with 3/4lb of fake dust and cobwebs) and have a goatee beard (help me out here, people...) I'm sure there's the potential for starting a rumour that you are actually him in disguise.
In your secret lair in the caverns under Blyswood House you are building an army worthy of Mordor....
no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 01:34 am (UTC)2) As a student, he supplemented his income through freelance music journalism. He has inteviewed Joe Strummer, Warren Zevon and Tiffany.
3) His mother presented Reporting Scotland for over a decade.
4) He went to school with Clare Grogan. They still exchange Christmas cards.
5) He speaks fluent German, Danish and Italian, all as a result of past girlfriends.
Re: Graham's Wig
Date: 2003-01-10 01:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 04:38 am (UTC)2)Graham Clark was hailed as a local hero at the age of 7, when he voluntarily donated two-thirds of his liver to save the lives of a set of 8-month-old quadrupeds who lived in the next street.
3) Graham has 6 toes on his left foot. Surprisingly, he was not born with this condition, but had the extra one transplanted at the age of 23, to try and impress a girl he fancied, who had a supernumerary nipple. It didn't work, and she is now married, and working as a missionary in Eritrea. Graham kept the extra toe, which he named Erwin.
4)Graham is actually 57, but has spent the last 30 years as a test subject for a secret age-defying drug. The drug is highly effective, but the obvious and unfortunate side-effects have prevented its licensing thus far.
5)Graham is a qualified stunt pilot, having trained with Gary Numan. However, he is afraid of heights, and gets horribly air-sick, and therefore rarely flies.
Re: Poll
Date: 2003-01-10 05:21 am (UTC)Carl Mccoy of Fields of the Nephilim perhaps?
Re: Poll
Date: 2003-01-10 06:12 am (UTC)1. The J in AJ is short for Jeroboam - his family were once the biggest producers of sparkling wine in all of Lancashire. They still make their own in the garden shed, although this is only really for their own table and those of a few friends in France.
2. His interest in hand-to-hand fighting was kindled when he was caught up, as a teenager, in a tribal uprising against the Burmese government. To this day he is unable to travel safely in south-east Asia, although he still makes clandestine visits every couple of years to help morale.
3. He insists on cleaning the outside of all his own windows at least every three months. He did this even when living in a fourth-floor flat.
4. During his brief stay in London he became an enthusiastic urban potholer, exploring abandoned tube tunnels, storm drains, bunker systems and victorian sewers.
5. He once bought a secondhand book with what purports to be a treasure map folded inside the endpapers. He has located the island in question on a map, but is fairly sure that it's just a Victorian joke.
no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 06:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 07:36 am (UTC)Re: Poll
Date: 2003-01-10 08:01 am (UTC)Can you see the resemblence?
Re: Poll
Date: 2003-01-10 08:23 am (UTC)Here he is in classic explosion in a bakery mode:
http://www.angelsinexile.i12.com/nephilim/images/fields11.jpg
no subject
Date: 2003-01-10 08:47 am (UTC). . . after Erwin Rommel, of course. Which was the girl's name.
Re: Poll
Date: 2003-01-10 11:19 am (UTC)Re: Graham's Wig
Date: 2003-01-10 12:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-11 12:01 pm (UTC)Re: Graham's Wig
Date: 2003-01-11 01:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-13 12:52 pm (UTC)