A matter not quite of life and death.

[zotz]

It is now possible for you, my loyal comrades, to testify on a matter of intense current interest (although, to be fair, very little importance):

Am I, in fact, as all right-thinking people are aware, All Sweetness And Light™?

A boon companion who most strongly desires a positive and confirming result, and is not in any sense a faithless doubter, has arranged a test of the populace's view here, so please feel free to participate. I have complete confidence in you not to force me to mobilise my army of trusty sockpuppets in my defence.

Thank you.

Comments

[lilitufire.livejournal.com]

Of course you're a nice bloke.

Silly man :)

[zotz]

Sadly, that wasn't quite the question.

[lilitufire.livejournal.com]

I have polled :P

[zotz]

Thank you, my child. You will be rewarded in heaven. Or possibly in Scunthorpe.

[leila-child.livejournal.com]

Hey! You leave scunthorpe out of this!

[nickys.livejournal.com]

Probably wise... :-)

[fizzyboot.livejournal.com]

Yes

[reddragdiva]

The light in question being THE BURNING COHERENT LIGHT OF RIGHTEOUSNESS THAT BURNS ALL FALSEHOOD BEFORE IT, of course.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Mmm, coherent light.

[kixie.livejournal.com]

I would say that you are non-cloying sweetness and fairly bright light.

Ooo. Sockpuppet army. Did you sew all their eyes on yourself??

[zotz]

I will if necessary, yes.

[kixie.livejournal.com]

Can you train the other sock puppets to replicate themselves too??

[zotz]

Yes, but I can't see more than two of them co-operating on anything.

[kixie.livejournal.com]

Sockpuppet team building courses!

[technotom.livejournal.com]

You're totally not all sweetness and light. If I had to give an example of somebody I knew who was not all sweetness and light, it would be you.

Don't get me wrong, you contain a proportion of sweetness and a degree of light, but according to the paperwork I have in front of me these amount to roughly 34% of your overall behavioural makeup. And no matter which way you look at that figure, it's not 'all'.

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

You're not getting a yes vote from me. I remember the comment about the spaghetti.

[nickys.livejournal.com]

Please do not share his comment about the spaghetti... I have enough trouble with his comments about a wide range of other topics... :-)

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

It was so rude that he had to take me into another room to say it, for fear of having to put a 20p fine into the house smut-box.

[nickys.livejournal.com]

I still don't want to hear it... :-)

[nickys.livejournal.com]

> A boon companion who most strongly desires a positive and confirming result, and is not in any sense a faithless doubter

Err... isn't outright lying just a bit dodgy when you're trying to demonstrate your alleged sweetness...?

[zotz]

Well, obviously I'm sorry if I've misinterpreted your motives, but clearly I've taken the more charitable view of your intentions, as of course any decent friend would.

[nickys.livejournal.com]

[pokes tongue out at you] :-)

[hfnuala.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, you are indeed lovely but not sweetness and light. Which is a good thing.

[decomposingsoul.livejournal.com]

My experience of humanity is that nobody can be all sweetness and light. So therefore, I'm afraid the answer would have to be no, by default, unless of course you're an alien, then I would have to review my policy. Nothing personal or anything!

[frazerpenman.livejournal.com]

I would agree everyone I know has a dark(er) side to them.

[luckylove.livejournal.com]

My army of killer_pelicans would love to join the sockpuppets. They just like a good fight.

I know you're not All Sweetness And Light™ (I remember the goose thing) but you are a lovely, decent guy. Even in the dream I had, where both you and Mark were aliens, you were a lovely guy.

OK, I voted.

[murson.livejournal.com]

You can guess which way, right? I remember some comments from back in the mists of University (or at least one of its union buildings, or people's flats...), is all.

Re: OK, I voted.

[zotz]

Pah. And I thought I knew who my friends were . . .

Re: OK, I voted.

[nickys.livejournal.com]

It appears that your friends are aware of exactly what Google has to say about you... :-)

Re: OK, I voted.

[zotz]

The overall vote is still accurately in my favour.

Re: OK, I voted.

[nickys.livejournal.com]

Clearly you are very good at presenting an appropriate image to the world in general.

Care for a job with The Ministry Of Perfectly Innocent Explanations?

Re: OK, I voted.

[zotz]

Is there a ministry of relatively innocent explanations?

Re: OK, I voted.

[nickys.livejournal.com]

I shall consult with The Cult and see if we need one....

Re: OK, I voted.

[murson.livejournal.com]

Best check for a need for a Ministry of Innocent-Sounding Explanations... :)

Re: OK, I voted.

[nickys.livejournal.com]

I shall do so.

The debate on Relatively Innocent Explanations is rather sparse so far.

Re: OK, I voted.

[drpyrojames.livejournal.com]

I am glad I was of some assistance.

By the by, the only other thing that is "All sweetness and light" would be a sugar crystal pumped hard enough with a couple of flash lamps and some cavity mirrors to actually lase. Something that I feel would be a worthwile experiment, I shall call it the Zotz Laser, I think.