How strange.

[zotz]

I've just had a mail. It's been sent around everybody at work. Subject : Mandatory face-fit testing.

I am not joking here. It's official.

Anyone care to guess what's going on?

Comments

[akicif.livejournal.com]

I don't suppose you use or need respirators or gas masks at work?

[zotz]

Very good. I don't, but clearly some people do. I was a little alarmed until I read the whole message.

[sheepthief.livejournal.com]

As long as it's not "nose to crevice", you'll be fine.

Given that I'm not sure what you do for a living these days.... I'd say it's some sort of pattern recognition testing thing.

[zotz]

As long as it's not "nose to crevice"

Urgh. Thankfully not.

I tend a couple of light microscopes, a darkbox with a lowlight camera, and various associated computers, but nothing involving respirators. I'm a little underemployed.

[deliberateblank.livejournal.com]

Your MD is running an international arms smuggling organisation using your premises as cover. They are trying to locate suitable body-doubles should the black helicoptors turn up.

[zotz]

It would explain a lot. The amount of kit going from here to Germany and back, for a start.

[girfan.livejournal.com]

At least it didn't say "Mandatory face-hugger testing"!

[zotz]

With or without the throat proboscis? I'd need to know that before I agreed.

[steer.livejournal.com]

If you fail will you have to do facercises?

[zotz]

Facercises or Faecercises?

[steer.livejournal.com]

Ewww... well, you weren't doing a faeces-fit test -- though perhaps next week as part of their random drugs testing?

[zotz]

I'll be OK, then. I never take random drugs.

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

How about deterministic ones?

[kate-r.livejournal.com]

You're being informed about the COSHH recommendations for use of breathing aparatus equipment and respirators?

[zotz]

It was news to me that anyone round here uses them.

[kate-r.livejournal.com]

Do you have anything that requires formaldehyde fumigation? They are required for that.

[zotz]

Not to my knowledge, but I suppose we must have something along those lines somewhere if the subject's come up.

[dmh.livejournal.com]

They're on to you Graham. Best to flee while you still can.

[zotz]

If only I'd joined the Masons when they offered . . .

[deliberateblank.livejournal.com]

But then you'd have to say that, wouldn't you.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_nicolai_/]

They're going to be serving such lethal curries in the canteen that wearing a respirator will become mandatory in the afternoons.