I'm not a real doctor, but I am a real worm.

[zotz]

I notice that there's going to be a new series of Celebrity Big Brother. Now, I know I've pestered most of you already with my nominations for my proposed Celebrity Big Brother/Prisoner Cell Block H crossover program. Eight celebrities (ideally C-list at best) are needed for incarcerinclusion. I suggest:

Jeffrey Archer
Nick Hoogstraten
Mark Morrison
Jonathan Aitken
Martha Stewart
Ernest Saunders
Robert Kilroy-Silk
and, of course, finally:
Dennis Nilsen.

I don't think there's any need for a voting mechanism.

Also:

Catherine Bennett asks in today's Grauniad why the world's astrological community didn't foresee the recent tsunami, if they're so good at foretelling the future. After all, you'd think it'd be a hard one to miss.

Comments

[swisstone.livejournal.com]

Jeremy Clarkson
George W. Bush
Simon Cowell
Nigel Rees
Michael Howerd
Charles Clarke
Orson Scott Card
Jim Davidson

[zotz]

Excellent. Anyone else care to contribute?

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

Michael Winner.
Peter Lilley.
Mike Tyson.
"Posh" Spice.
Charlotte Church.
That bloody 'Crazy Frog' thing (yes, I know it's an animation, but I can't think of anything that has me reaching for the mute button faster).

[zotz]

Tyson especially, yes. I'm afraid the frog might well be disqualified, though. If you'd like to nominate whoever's behind it, though . . .

[ciphergoth.livejournal.com]

Has Robert K-S done time then?

[zotz]

Not yet. But I couldn't resist.

[glitchdrei.livejournal.com]

It would make me immesurably happy to think he was being anally violated, although I do miss him being on TV - since he's been off-air I've become generally a calmer person, as there was nobody to give me my daily fix of vitriol.

[ciphergoth.livejournal.com]

Heh. You know I've been on his show? He's just as slimy and unpleasant in real life.

A friend suggests Mark Thatcher as a possible replacement for his place on Cell-ebrity Big Serial Killer who fits the membership criteria.

[zotz]

Of course. Perfect!

[sbisson.livejournal.com]

Taki
Mohammed El-Fayed
Rupert Murdoch
All the staff of the Spectator

And an axe.

[zotz]

How many staff does the Spectator have? We might not be able to fit them all into one cell without using a meat-mincer.

[sbisson.livejournal.com]

I'll wind the handle!

[zotz]

Join the bloody queue.

[king-prawn.livejournal.com]

Shania Twain
Michael Moore
Osama Bin Laden
Uri Geller
Alberto Gonzales
Marilyn Manson
Danielle Steel
Shane McGowan

the world's astrological community...

Uri was on radio-4 yesterday afternoon declaring he'd correctly predicted it would be whasthisname that won the last I'm -A-Celeb-Get-Me-Out. Give the guy a break--that took a lot of brainpower.

[zotz]

Sure. Which bit of him would you like me to break?

[king-prawn.livejournal.com]

I dunno, let the adverts for Kit Kat on TV guide your mind...

[sheepthief.livejournal.com]

Could you include one of the albino tigers that's going spare from the Siegfried & Roy act? Mind you, even if you did I'm not sure that it wouldn't be Kilroy-Silk that won.

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

Just put in Siegfried and Roy. Animal-torturing cunts.