Bookmemething

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I went to see The Fall and now my bum hurts.

Not because they kicked serious arse, though (although they did), but because gingiber amd anonymous_seth dragged me off into the Pentlands on their spare bike. Actually, though, it doesn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it would. More on this topic later.
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If anyone has a doomsday device on their person . . .

this might be a good time to use it.

Could it become the worst British number one since The Birdie Song? Or even since Bohemian Rhapsody? The extinction of all life on Earth would be a kinder fate.